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Sensormatic

Practical jokes
Is everyone out in net land familiar with Sensormatic? They are the company that make the large plastic clips that set off alarms when you exit a department store. I used to work for a department store and the is what we did. Open up the clip and remove the shiny piece of paper. It is about an inch long and about half an inch wide. This is the "thingy" (that is the technical word for it) that sets off the alarm. This "thingy" is easy to insert into a pen case, lining of a jacket ... We did this to a co worker and needless to say, he had problems wearing a particular jacket to work.
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Wrong Question

Faiths jokes
John and Mike are walking from religious service. John wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying. Mike replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?" So John goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I smoke while I pray?" The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion." John goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him. Mike says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try." And so Mike goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke?" To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to."
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Female hormones in beer

Bar jokes
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
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Politics Quotes

Funny jokes
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. H. L. Mencken Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties. George Clooney Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material. Dave Letterman Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. P. J. ORourke Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary. Robert Louis Stevenson Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. Ronald Reagan
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An 18th-century vagabond in England...

Historical jokes
An 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked. The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some victuals?" The woman glanced at his shabby, dirty clothes. "No!" she shouted. "Could I have a pint of ale?" "No!" she shouted. "Could I at least use your privvy?" "No!" she shouted again. The vagabond said, "Might I please...?" "What now?" the woman screeched, not allowing him to finish. "D'ye suppose," he asked, "that I might have a word with George?"
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